XMAS GOLD

by 4Shadows

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1.
2.
XMAS oh no! 04:20
christmas! christmas! auugh! oh god, not again! auugh! give me something stupid! christmas! give me more! christmas! christmas! [shouting, moans] oh god, not again! i can't repent. i can't eat my soup looking at you please tell me i'm not really related to you! yes, children, it's xmas again and we know how bad you have been angels are crashing through my window auugh! oh god, no, it's christmas again!
3.
XMAS riot 03:23
all i want for xmas is some clean coal i'm gonna put it in my sock then i'm gonna swing it around throw it like a rock all i want for xmas is an army of cops i like their riot shields and elbow guards marching down the street lookin' for you and me all i want for xmas is to be shot by SWAT aw gee! ain't it neat? the tanks are coming down our street it's gonna be fun when all is said and done they've got smoke bombs and a beanbag gun it's a XMAS RIOT! XMAS RIOT! (what?)
4.
XMAS curfew 02:38
here come the police on christmas eve better watch your Ps and Qs! don't cross the street on xmas eve don't climb the tree make sure to be merry... and bright! ...or you won't survive dress like Jesus and walk through the mall handing out candy and Gauloises dragging a cross... crucify yourself in the foodcourt! then get a burrito from the guy might as well pick up a pair of pants for yourself and a book about the Crimean War ...you need something to talk about xmas morn then take a stroll through the parking lot looking for your truck... you can't remember where you parked!
5.
XMAS krieg 04:11
[German] he says when he was a child they used to stab each other with icicles [German] then they would go sit by the fire and examine each others' wounds [German] there were prizes, like a cookie, for who had the deepest puncture [German] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7-- that's how many stab wounds he once inflicted [German] rats and dogs were then invited to lick their head wounds [German] and then they would roast marshmallows over the burning bandages [German] one time they put an icicle in Peter's mother's apron [German] and then it melted, dripping on the floor where it mixed with our blood [German] one time he forgot who he was [German] where are his lederhosen? you swine!
6.
i want feelings for xmas i want feelings for xmas i cannot feel a thing i cannot feel a thing i want feelings for xmas i want emotion, too i am a robot so are you! i am a robot so are you! give me feelings i want feelings give me feelings give me feelings i want feelings i can't feel a thing i am automaton i can do nothing wrong i've become automaton somebody turn me on give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings santa claus, give me feelings! give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings give me feelings i want feelings for xmas! i want feelings for xmas! i want feelings for xmas! i want feelings for xmas!
7.
XMAS runaway 14:17
christmas on a greyhound bus you're never alone on a bus bound away from home gotta make a getaway gotta break away got to snake it out of town can't stand the thought of eating fruitcake around the xmas tree it's a good time to break free it's time to be who you're meant to be gotta make a break run away! be free! why not disappear like gifts from under the tree? burn it down burn it down burn it down! christmas runaway it's your chance to break free good bye, good night, good luck to the family -- RUN AWAY! ow, ow. how'd that song go? la la la, la la la la la, la la la...? [general breakdown] xmas runaway run away on xmas day [repeat endlessly] there's nowhere to run there's nowhere to hide every single thing is covered with eyes! ho ho ho ho ho ho! la la la, ho ho ho. they're watching you they're watching me they're watching he they're watching she everyone is watching everyone ho ho ho! christmas, christmas... run away on xmas day run away on xmas day run away on xmas day run away on xmas day run away on xmas day run away on xmas day run away on xmas day run away on xmas day RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! where are we going to go? there's nowhere left to go! they bombed it all to smithereens ...for christmas!
8.
christmas in the slaughterhouse christmas in the slaughterhouse christmas in the slaughterhouse christmas in the slaughterhouse bring in those cows! bring in those cows! you will never be more free than when you are hanging from the ceiling by ankle chains christmas in the slaughterhouse christmas in the slaughterhouse christmas in the slaughterhouse christmas in the slaughterhouse bring in the cows!
9.
XMAS GOLD 01:28
XMAS GOLD! the wise men brought gold the wise men brought gold the wise men brought gold mary and joseph were poor mary and joseph were poor mary and joseph were poor they could really use that gold! XMAS GOLD XMAS GOLD XMAS GOLD (how did we get here? i think we're lost... it's the same every year)
10.
christmas! christmas! christmas! goldplated christmas there's enough money in this town for a rich man to drown christmas torches and christmas pitchforks! christmas torches and christmas pitchforks! christmas torches and christmas pitchforks! christmas torches and christmas pitchforks! goldplated...
11.
freejazz xmas freejazz xmas freejazz xmas! christmas christmas christmas christmas! [freejazz space interlude] it's christmas time in prison... christmas in prison christmas in prison christmas in prison cigarettes cigarettes cigarettes cigarettes christmas in prison christmas in prison christmas in prison
12.
who doesn't like xmas? i like xmas! i like eating candy i like watching movies i like dicking around popping chocolates out of the calendar counting down days till i got what i wanted anticipation made me crazy sometimes i'd peek in the closet who doesn't like xmas? i like xmas! there's no war on xmas you can't defeat christmas there's no point even trying Waaaarrrrrr... i met an old man he was a veteran of the war on xmas he took a few but he got through now he's telling me his wisdom: there is no war on xmas! i've seen things i can't see some of them happened on xmas eve there is no war on xmas! there is no war anymore some people land on their feet too bad they broke their knees there is no war on xmas! there is no war on xmas! ...hide the knives
13.
this xmas... take all you can get
14.
we wish you an annoying xmas and a fucked-up new year
15.
all i want for xmas is a hearing aid what'd you say? oh yeah--happy holidays all i want for xmas is a new cane to help me up and down the stairway all i want for xmas is no pain i wanna float free in the ocean again
16.
i got a sloth in my stocking i got a sloth in my stocking i got a sloth in my stocking i got a sloth in my stocking i got a piece of coal in my stocking i got a piece of coal in my stocking i got a piece of coal in my stocking i got a piece of coal in my stocking i got a big old turd in my stocking i got a big old turd in my stocking i got a big old turd in my stocking for xmas i got a turd in my stocking
17.
scary XMAS 04:44
18.
lost XMAS 01:44
XMS on the stock ticker XMS is down sell XMS now dump XMS XMS is tanking XMS went off a cliff XMS ain't coming back where did it go? i don't know
19.
we are older than you might think we are that's ok. everybody's 12 on xmas. and under! chicken fried reindeer steak, blah blah blah blah blah blah xmas xmas blah blah blah blah blah xmas blah x- blah xmas ...etc.
20.
pt 1 and now xmas is over all the wrappings put away and it's time for all good little children to be tucked away yeeeeeaaaaahhhh xmas is over but not in our hearts xmas is over packed away in its parts xmas is over pt 2 the worst xmas ever is over no! i like xmas yes i do it's just that i'm an old fart now haven't seen anything new when i was a kid xmas was great now xmas is just the same old plate of turkey and stuffing gravy, too! ain't got no family to gather round the yuletide to spreading xmas tide and joy! gather round the xmas yule log and you will experience jooooy [scatting] woo! [scatting] amen amen pt 3 xmas xmas xmas xmas that's a xmas sound! day after christmas sale 50% off all of xmas
21.
no more XMAS 01:33
earth is just a spaceship where you're a slave forever... Q: what happens when you die? A: we become music. we turn into music!

about

This annual event happens but once a year.

Here at 4Shadows HQ, aka The Vault, we have been keeping lists & we invite you to celebrate the ambivalence of the season with us.

And remember: it's always darkest before the dawn. Unless you're in Seattle. Then it's just dark.

credits

released December 4, 2016

Kitchen Wainwright & Zverina for songs beginning with XMAS;
Kitchen Millis Wainwright & Zverina for songs ending XMAS.

This surefire holiday classic produced by www.zverina.com

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4Shadows Seattle, Washington

No brakes. No map. No going back.

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